Britney Spears read the Top 10 List on “The Late Show with David Letterman” last night from an undisclosed location. She appeared in a very small black string bikini with a large flower in her hair and read the top ten “ways the country would be different if Britney Spears were president”.

She did well reading each punch line (some of which were puzzling, like “Free pie for everybody”) but was fidgeting, which led Dave to quip, “let’s see how many times switches from hip to hip while we do this.”

Also on the list were “Three words: Vice President Diddy” and “Costume changes between press conferences.” Number one on the list was “The media would pay attention to me and care about what I’m doing.”

Britney’s “Circus” tour begins a second North American leg on Aug. 20 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Sadly, no Arizona date is scheduled.

Take a look at Britney reading the entire list below: