ET‘s Henry Thomas guest stars as a convicted killer from Catherine’s first case as a baby CSI. I’ve tried to work a “phone home” joke into this recap but it just wasn’t working. I’ll at least be calling him Elliott throughout, mostly because I can’t be bothered to remember his character’s name.

Episode Summary

Elliott, in prison for 18 years for murdering an old man during a home robbery, wants a new trial on the grounds that his lawyer kind of sucked. It’s granted, so Catherine has to re-visit her first solo case. She explains the details to the team: Elliott was convicted based on a fingerprint found on the rock that smashed the old man’s window and a shoeprint that matched Elliott’s size but not any of his shoes. When she lays it all out, even Catherine has to admit that the evidence sounds lame. But that’s what worked 18 years ago.

With modern equipment and testing, Catherine is able to get a more complete fingerprint match to Elliott, largely because of his unique smiley face pattern. No, really. That confirms Elliott wielded the rock, which makes Catherine feel pretty darn smug. Meanwhile, Greg and Archie work on the 911 tape, which has an engine sound in the background. They’re trying to match it to Elliott’s car at the time.

The murder weapon was never found back then, but it takes Langston about five seconds to get Catherine to realize she should’ve looked up. She finds the hammer lodged all those years in the crook of a tree, and it’s got two bloody prints. Catherine thinks it’s a slam dunk but alas, the prints do not belong to Elliott.

Eventually, the CSIs consider an accomplice. They track down Elliott’s high school girlfriend, who acts squirrely with Brass from the get-go, so it’s obvious she’s involved. The tie gets stronger when the engine is identified as a muscle car that the girlfriend conveniently still owns, and a piece of bloody glass matching the old man’s window is found in the car.

It turns out that she got pregnant with Elliott’s baby and those two braintrusts decided robbing houses was the way to decorate their nursery. She takes two seconds to claim Elliott had already killed the old dude when she walked in the house. However, she says she grabbed the hammer and threw it into the tree, and Brass informs her that’s enough to be convicted of murder. Kelly Gordon could’ve explained to her how that works.

Catherine tells Elliott that the everything has been uncovered, and gleefully points out how he covered for his girlfriend for 18 years while she wasted no time in turning on him. He doesn’t care, because all he wanted was a fair trial. He does, however, hope that the girlfriend will be forced to testify against him so he gets a chance to see his son.

High Points

I always dread Catherine-centric episodes because most of the time she comes across as a self-righteous, irritating, self-centered jackass. She was surprisingly awesome in this episode, not making it All About Her, realizing she wasn’t as thorough as she should’ve been on her first solo case, and having doubts about Elliott’s guilt. I especially liked her scene with Brass, where she talks about how a single mistake can completely change someone’s life.

Even though the focus of this episode was on Catherine, this really ended up being a nicely balanced team effort. All of the cast got good screentime, including lab techs Hodges, Wendy, and Archie.

Ecklie! It’s been too long since we’ve seen that magnificant bastard, and I love how he always has a soft spot for Catherine.

Low Points

This episode required too much suspension of disbelief. We’re supposed to think the hammer stayed in that tree for 18 years, with nothing weather-related knocking it out or the neighbors discovering it while trimming branches? And the girlfriend kept that muscle car all this time, even though she turned into the typical suburban soccer mom? Please.

News stories about wrongful convictions being overturned by new evidence, specifically DNA, have been big the last few years. It would’ve made for a more interesting, thoughtful episode if Elliott was truly innocent. It doesn’t mean Catherine did anything wrong (well, besides not looking up), just that the science wasn’t as advanced. It’s okay to let your characters be wrong once in a while, show.

Couldn’t they have sprung for an actor to play younger Elliott in the flashbacks? Granted, Henry Thomas has a baby face but he still doesn’t look like a teenager.

Ever since Grissom left CSI has ceased being must-see television for me. However, I would shift my devotion in a heartbeat to a CSI: Lab Techs spin-off. One episode focusing on the lab rats each season is simply not enough.

Episode Summary

The geeks have gathered at WhatIfItCon but one exhibitor isn’t having a good time. Jonathan Danson, who was there to unveil his reboot of the classic and beloved Star Astro Trek Quest is found murdered.

Soon the red shirts herrings start piling up. His co-producer, who gets all the rights with Danson dead, has a motive. It’s doubly so when the CSIs learn that Danson was sleeping with her and recording it, along with a bevy of other geek girls at each convention where he appeared. Danson also infuriated and alienated (hee) a lot of congoers with his bleak, dystopian take on the unabashedly campy Astro Quest. Then there’s the bartender who had an altercation with Danson after Danson harrassed a female congoer.

Eventually the investigators find Danson’s hidden sex camera, which reveals his murderer. It’s Dr. Penelope Russell, a sociologist in pop culture and media studies who was filming Danson’s presentation for a documentary. In interrogation, she tells Brass that Danson took her class years ago, where she outlined a deconstruction of Astro Quest. Danson stole all of her ideas for his reboot and dismissed Russell when she confronted him on it. Enraged, she attacked and killed him.

Meanwhile, Hodges and Wendy bond over their shared love of Astro Quest. They’re surprised to see each other at the convention and are the ones to call in Danson’s murder to the lab. While assisting with the investigation, Hodges fantasizes about advancing his relationship with Wendy, in scenarios lifted right from his favorite Astro Quest episodes. He even asks Catherine about the lab procedures for a “hypothetical” relationship between two co-workers.

It looks like he’s got a shot, because Wendy asks him over to her place for an Astro Quest marathon, but he blows it in inimitable Hodges fashion. Despite Wendy’s obvious interest, he gives up on the dream for now ostensibly because his crush is affecting his work, but really because he’s afraid of being rejected.

At the end of the episode, Wendy translates something Hodges said to her in an alien language and is stunned to discover he said, “We were made for each other.” She has her own Astro Quest fantasy about Hodges, with the bittersweet ending that this is not the right time for them.

High Points

EVERYTHING.

Fine, I’ll be more specific. First, the nods to both Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica were hilarious and affectionately mocking. There was also the parade of BSG cameos, from Kate Vernon as Dr. Russell, to Grace Park making an awesome WTF? face at Danson’s presentation, to Ronald D. Moore popping up to yell, “You suck!” at that same presentation. Danson’s reboot got about the same reaction as Moore’s BSG reboot did when it was first presented to a group of original BSG fans, which made the cameo funny on several levels.

SuperDave’s running “I’m a _____, not a _____, dammit!” jokes and Doc Robbins putting the Astro Quest version of a Vulcan nerve pinch had me in stitches.

Nick’s skepticism turning to grudging respect of Astro Quest and its fan culture were nicely done. I particularly loved how he organized a lab viewing party with Riley and Langston, who revealed his secret geekiness at the end.

The cold open with Hodges calling Brass to tell him about the murder was brilliant. I don’t know what made me laugh harder – Brass’ “Who?” or Hodges admitting he cloned Grissom’s phone or Hodges’ “He’s dead, Jim!”

Hodges’ Astro Quest fantasies could easily have come across as creepy. They were charming because of Wallace Langham’s lovely performance, which allowed for Hodges’ physical objectification of Wendy but also captured Hodges’ respect and emotional yearning for her. Langham has always been deft at showing Hodges’ humanity beneath all the bluster and social awkwardness. But credit also goes to Liz Vassey, who kept up with Langham in all their scenes. She manages to make Wendy both whimsical and no-nonsense, which can’t be easy to do. The Hodges/Wendy pairing works so well because of both actors’ skills and their chemistry together.

Low Points

Absolutely nothing. I don’t have a single critical word to say about this episode. Except, as I mentioned at the top of the recap, that there is only one episode like this each season.

This week CSI is back on track after the hideous aberration that was last week’s episode. The team investigates three cases, two of which converge. As for the third, it’s got an ending straight out of a Greek tragedy comedy.

Episode Summary

Nick and Riley investigate the case of a man, Pierre, who was almost killed when his parachute failed to deploy while he was skydiving. They determine the chute was tampered with but after questioning Pierre’s female companions and business partner, Max, they come up with no sure suspect.

Meanwhile, Catherine and Greg are on the case of two businessmen who died of apparent heart attacks at the same time. When the responding officer and the wife of one of the businessmen fall ill with heart problems, they realize the men must’ve died from a poison. An investigation proves digitoxin was spread over the area from a light glider, which would’ve been silent.

Archie looks into the FAA flight plan and is able to track the flight path back to a private airstrip, which happens to be owned by Pierre and Max. Brass goes to the hospital to question Max and a paralyzed Pierre, who tells Brass that they were hired to photograph the area. They didn’t realize until later that they were releasing poison, not taking photos. Unable to live with what he’d done, Pierre tampered with his own parachute to kill himself.

On another case is Langston, who finds a dead self-styled holy man in the desert. The victim, who called himself The Holy Steve, was killed by a blow on top of his bald head. Brass and Langston talk to Steve’s disciple and successor, The Holy George, who admits to bashing Steve over the head with his staff. But upon further interrogation George admits he just said he killed Steve because he was following Steve’s tenet about always being agreeable.

After a discussion about Aeschylus with Nick, Greg, and Riley, Langston gets an idea. He goes back to the desert and under a rock he finds a dead tortoise. He tells Catherine his theory that a raptor picked up the tortoise and dropped it to break the shell and get at the meat. From the air, Steve’s bald head must’ve looked like a rock. Catherine boggles at the odds of that happening but Langston says the tortoise tested positive for Steve’s DNA. Catherine wonders if she needs to start worrying about random things falling from the sky.

High Points

The comedic performances this week were brilliant, from Charisma Carpenter (Angel) and Erin Daniels (The L Word) as Mink and Schuyler, Pierre’s ditzy and jealous girlfriends to Greg Germann (Ally McBeal) as the, as Brass wondered, “clinically insane or just really annoying” Holy George.

Credit must also go to George Eads and Jim Guilfoyle, whose straight man reactions to the aforementioned wacky characters were comedy gold.

It was adorable seeing Langston trying to have a philosophical discussion about Aeschylus with Nick, Greg, and Riley, who only wanted to get breakfast. You could practically see him thinking, “Kids these days.”

Low Points

Langston has been a CSI for about five minutes. Why is he working cases solo?

The cases, while entertaining and humorous, were rather poorly plotted. It might have been better to focus the episode on the skydiving and poison plots and save the Holy Steve subplot for another episode.

Max’s French accent was so thick it was really hard to understand. While it was a humorous point in one scene (“Oars? Oh, whores!”), for the most part it was distracting. Since I couldn’t find the remote that turns on my closed-captioning, I had a difficult time figuring out what was going on in his scenes.

This week’s CSI was its 200th episode and William Friedkin returned to direct it. Would it celebrate nine years of history and focus on the cast members who have been with the show since the beginning? Or would it be even worse than the other Friedkin-directed episode, “Cockroaches,” a faux-artistic, interminable mess that was driven by a character who’s only been around for ten episode?

If you picked door number two, give yourself a cookie! And have a good cry.

Episode Summary

After being chased by a man in a mask through the alleys of Las Vegas for what seems like a million years, a pretty blonde young woman is murdered. We learn that her name is Sylvia and she was a former grad student of Langston’s. Sylvia was doing her masters thesis on serial killers who got away with it and it looks like her research took her too close to one of those serial killers.

The investigation takes the team, which in this episode pretty much just features Langston and Brass with brief cameos by Catherine, Nick, and Greg, into the worlds of santeria and lucha libre, otherwise known as Mexican wrestling. Sylvia’s murder is similar to those of three Mexican women who were strangled several years previously.

After going through a series of red herrings with the wrestlers, Langston and Brass zero in on the emcee. It helps their case when the emcee shoots the lead wrestler after being fired for bringing a bad name to their profession with his murdering ways. The emcee is taken into custody but proclaims his innocence in the deaths of Sylvia and the other women, blaming the god Ogun for his actions. A frustrated Langston smacks around the suspect a little bit then storms out of the interrogation room. He ends up in his office, reading the rough and forever unfinished draft of Sylvia’s thesis.

The Highlights

Nick, in his very brief scene, at least got to practice his Spanish, which is always hot adorable hot.

Speaking of adorable, there was a cutely flirtatious scene between Hodges and Wendy. There’s been so little momentum on these two this season, but I’m really looking forward to their starring turn in the science fiction convention episode in a couple of weeks. With Grissom and Sara gone, they’re my new couple to get massively overinvested in.

Aside from one ridiculous tantrum-throwing scene, Laurence Fishburne gave a beautifully understated performance. The grief at his student’s death was palpable and the flashback scenes showing him mentoring Sylvia were lovely and bittersweet.

In a nice nod to continuity, Sylvia was previously seen in the seminar with Nathan “Dick and Jane Killer” Haskell in “19 Down…” She was the student whom Haskell perved on.

Friedkin really likes his sleaze and seediness, so I am exceedingly grateful he reined himself in and we didn’t learn Langston slept with or was sleeping with Sylvia.

The Lowlights

Everything else. This episode was full of scenes that dragged on forever, particularly Sylvia’s murder, the Santeria ceremony, and all the wrestling scenes. They seemed designed to set the tone but plot and characterization were clearly sacrificed for style. And don’t even get me started on the racist undertones in the savage, animalistic portrayals of the Santeria worshippers and lucha libre athletes.

I don’t care if William Friedkin is considered a brilliant film director. He needs to be permanently banned from the CSI set because he’s two for two in creating episodes that will land among most top 10 worst CSI episodes list. He’s got no respect for the unique style, history, and characters of this show. Want to have a big name director? Bring back Quentin Tarantino, who directed the brilliant season five episode “Grave Danger.” That’s someone who loves and gets the show.

I don’t think I realized how attached I was to the opening credits with The Who singing “Who Are You” until they were taken away from me. Don’t ever do that again, show.

Next week: Charisma Carpenter guest stars! It also looks like we’ll get to see more than a fleeting glimpse of Nick and Catherine.

Yesterday CSI star Marg Helgenberger, 50, filed for divorce from Alan Rosenberg, 58, her husband of 19 years. Rosenberg, also an actor, is currently the president of the Screen Actors Guild. The two met in 1984 and married in 1989. They separated in December 2008. They have one son, who is 18 years old.

Helgenberger cites irreconcilable differences in her filing. She is asking for spousal support and petitioning the court to deny him the same. I don’t know anything about the couple’s entire finances but it does strike me as strange that a star on TV’s number one drama is asking for spousal support. Being the SAG president must be a sweet gig.

Speaking of SAG, does anyone think Helgenberger and Rosenberg might have split over his zeal in pushing for an actors’ strike during a severe economic recession? The timing seems suspect, is all I’m saying.

After a two week hiatus for NCAA basketball, CSI returns with new episodes starting April 2. Let’s hope Catherine Willows doesn’t investigate a case where a middle-aged woman is suspected of murdering her estranged husband.