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Last week, nobody went home. This week, two people are getting the boot, decided by 45 million votes. Ryan is downright giddy as he tells us that none other than Paula Abdul choreographed the group performance. We see some rehearsal footage and it’s truly awesome to see Paula in her element. She’s coherent, in control, and downright funny and adorable. I hope the rumors that pop up periodically that Paula will compete on Dancing With The Stars turn out to be true at some point because I think she would rock that hard.
Paula, wearing a teeny sparkly dress, introduces the top 7 performing Michael Jackson’s “Shake Your Body Down To The Ground.” The dancing is loads of fun and mostly fantastic, with only a few rhythm issues. The lipsynching? Not so much. I’m waiting for Godzilla to start stomping on Tokyo, y’all. I do love the hilarious 70s outfits. Adam in particular looks like Greg Brady. After they’re done, the kids hand a bouquet of flowers to Paula as she beams proudly. Awww. I do love Paula.
Last week the judges saved Matt Giraud, which means the top 7 will all be performing again. There’s no mentor this week to make the show run long, so after a brief intro Ryan kicks it right to the first performer on Disco Night.
Lil (“I’m Every Woman” by Chaka Khan): Good grief, Lil sucks. She’s screechy, generic, and just wholly unimpressive. I didn’t start watching this season until the top 13 so can somebody tell me how Lil made it this far? The judges rip her a new one for being a boring mimic. Simon basically says to stick a fork in Lil, ’cause she’s done. Well, that’s going to earn her a few contrary votes.
Kris (“She Works Hard For The Money” by Donna Summer): Ryan and Kris hilariously dance around the whole “this song is about prostitution” thing, and then Kris hits the stage and freaking kills it with an acoustic guitar and drums arrangement. His vocals are terrific and what I like about Kris is that I know exactly what kind of album he’s going to put out. He’s got a focus and clear sense of what kind of musician he is that’s lacking in all the other contestants this season except Adam. Kara says she could hear that song on his album and Paula makes a labored cross-dressing analogy that was obviously written for her and makes everyone uncomfortable. Simon praises Kris’ originality, after making fun of Paula of course.
Each week the results show opening clip about how The! Competition! Is! Getting! Fierce! gets more hyperbolic and hilariously over-the-top. Just when I think this show has topped itself, it hits a new level of melodrama.
The Ford commercials this year have sucked so much. This one is about the finalists on magazine covers, set to “Freeze Frame.” I feel like a past season has already done this exact commercial to this exact song.
Now that Scott’s gone, the producers go overboard this week having the finalists run up and down the stairs in the group performance, to “Maniac” from Flashdance. They sound good on it but nobody is wearing an off-the-shoulder torn sweatshirt, which is disappointing.
The top 7 went to the 17 Again premiere and got to rub elbows with Zac Efron and an overly excited Leslie Mann, who enjoys meeting the kids but really wants to see Simon. Zac’s also in the audience and plugs the movie some more, looking a bit embarrassed about it, not to mention a little unwashed. A shower before live TV would’ve killed you, Efron? True story: I was offered sneak preview tickets for both 17 Again and State of Play, both of which are for tonight. If you think I’m going to see the smart political thriller based on an acclaimed BBC miniseries, you’d be wrong. I feel no shame.
The theme: Songs From The Movies. The mentor: Quentin Tarantino. I’m ambivalent about most of his movies but I love the dude himself. He’s such an unabashed fanboy and I will always love him for his amazing job directing one of my favorite CSI episodes ever. Other special guest directors weren’t so successful.
Simon explains that because of last week’s overrun, only two judges will be giving critiques after each performance. Do you think that will bring the show in on time? If you do, you underestimate the production staff’s incompetence.
Simon Cowell hints that he might be leaving American Idol when his contract expires after next season. He explains to the Daily Mirror that commuting between America and the United Kingdom for his three shows, American Idol, Britain’s Got Talent, and The X Factor, have exhausted him and one may have to go.
The logical choice, he says, is the one show that’s not filmed in his home country of England. He also says he’s got a fourth …
Last night the top 8 performed songs from the 80s, except Allison because she’s an infant. Adam made everyone his bitch again, especially Simon, although half of America didn’t get to see him because this show is run by incompetent morons and ran 7 minutes late. Paula’s dressed like she’s going to a cotillion, down to the elbow-length gloves. What?
Ryan introduces a vintage video clip of Frankie Avalon performing “Venus” because it’s from the year Simon was born. And then Avalon himself comes out on stage to finish the song, sending Simon into fits of laughter. Well, alrighty then.
Group performance. They’re singing “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” by Kylie Minogue because it’s from the year American Idol started. Oh hey, I do believe this has the delicious hot buttered ass sound of live singing! Individually they’re all okay with Allison and Adam standing out, but when they try to harmonize it’s excrutiating. Awesome.
The theme is Songs From the Year the Contestants Were Born. If I were on this show I’d sing Elton John’s “Rocket Man.” Go on, Google that. Now you know how old I am. Ryan shows pictures of the judges and Ryan when they were wee. Randy and Ryan were darling, Kara and Simon look like surly assholes, and Paula looks freakishly the same, except shorter.
First is Danny (1980), who was spoiled by his enormous family and told from birth that he was the awesomest thing ever. He smarms his way through a ridiculously overwrought arrangement of “Stand By Me.” His voice is strong but the raspiness has gone past interesting Elliott Yamin territory and to the level where it’s barely holding out. Danny’s top 4 at least because of Dead Wife and Jesus; he needs to pace himself. The judges blow smoke up his ass, although at least Simon says he hated part of it.
It seems like everyone is buzzing about Twitter these days. For those not in the know, Twitter is a social networking and micro-blogging service that lets users send and read other users’ updates known as tweets. Prompted by the question “what are you doing?” users can share their thoughts, news, and updates with their ‘followers’ in 140 characters or less. Twitter isn’t just for the average Joe, several TV stars are tweeting too, here’s a list of who you should be following if you aren’t already.
Ryan Seacrest
Twitter url: http://twitter.com/RyanSeacrest
Sample Tweet: “talked to jason segel today…he doesnt rock uggs in real life, but he does drive a vespa.”
Why You Should Follow: Ryan doesn’t just host American Idol, he also hosts a radio show, a show on E!, and is always mingling with the famous and tweets about it all. Not to mention, he posts links, pics, and video constantly so you can stumble across some pretty interesting stuff.
Last night…well, let’s not talk about last night. It’s still too raw. We’ll get through this recap, sending probably Megan packing, and next week’s “songs from the year the contestants were born” theme will hopefully be less of a trainwreck.
As Ryan welcomes everyone, the camera cuts to Alexis Grace sitting in the audience with season 7’s Jason Castro. Well, okay. Paula looks super pretty in lavender tonight. Simon’s looking at her like he’s Pepe Le Pew and she’s one paint spill away from being his cherie. For the second week in a row, there were 36 million votes.
We get the Ford commercial first (“Mixed Up”) and then go right to the group performance, by Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” Everyone gets at least one solo line tonight. I’m not sure if I’m grateful or disappointed that the pre-recorded group sings means everyone’s mostly in tune. I’m not cringing, but I miss the potential for hilarity.
