Last night the top 8 performed songs from the 80s, except Allison because she’s an infant. Adam made everyone his bitch again, especially Simon, although half of America didn’t get to see him because this show is run by incompetent morons and ran 7 minutes late. Paula’s dressed like she’s going to a cotillion, down to the elbow-length gloves. What?

Ryan introduces a vintage video clip of Frankie Avalon performing “Venus” because it’s from the year Simon was born. And then Avalon himself comes out on stage to finish the song, sending Simon into fits of laughter. Well, alrighty then.

Group performance. They’re singing “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” by Kylie Minogue because it’s from the year American Idol started. Oh hey, I do believe this has the delicious hot buttered ass sound of live singing! Individually they’re all okay with Allison and Adam standing out, but when they try to harmonize it’s excrutiating. Awesome.

At this point Comcast went tits up and I missed the next ten or so minutes of the show, which presumably includes the Ford commercial and the contestant questions. As I want to get this recap up before I go to bed, y’all are going to have to do without my recap of those ten minutes.

When my cable returns Flo-Rida is in the middle of his performance. I love Flo-Rida like crazy, y’all. I had “Low” stuck in my head for, like, three straight months and this song, “Right Round,” is equally earwormy. It’s a standard hip hop performance, although watching a couple of the hootchie dancers grind up against the judges’ table makes me laugh for a solid five minutes.

Oh, apparently Anoop is in the bottom three. Danny is told he’s safe and he nods like he knew it. Douche. Matt is also safe and I think Adam and Kris are safe. Scott’s in the bottom three. That leaves Allison and Lil. And it’s Lil rounding out the bottom three. I agree with that bottom three. Anoop was better than Kris last night but Kris has been better overall and shouldn’t have been punished for one bad performance. Simon says it’s the first week the veto might matter.

After commercials, Kelly Pickler performs. That girl needs to lose her plastic surgeon’s number immediately. What she’s done to her face is horrifying. She also sounds dreadful, screechy on the high notes and flat on the low notes.

Ryan literally and hilariously kicks Kelly off the stage, then sends Lil back to safety. Then there’s another effing commercial break and finally Ryan tells Scott that he got the lowest number of votes. There’s totally no chance of him being saved but he’s blind and sweet and good-natured so Simon will be a lot nicer about it than he was with Megan.

And that’s pretty much exactly how it goes down after Scott sings his song, still sounding like a stepped-on cat on those high notes. Simon says it’s a split decision and it requires a unanimous one to use the veto, so Scott is out. Video journey, hugs, tears all around because Scott is awesome even if he was never the best singer.